Periods for parents…

[Uploaded from Substack]

Spoiler: NOT just for mothers.

It doesn’t seem to matter where I go or who I speak to, the conversation inevitably lands on a topic that they probably weren’t expecting to have that day.

Most recently, it was the man who happened to answer the phone when I called about my business insurance.

When I explained that I teach people about their menstrual cycle, he told me that I could speak to his 10 year old daughter because she was already coming home telling him her friends were getting cramps. I told him that I was actually 10 myself when my period started but that girls are starting their period as young as 8 now.

He told me that was a conversation for her mother.

I told him that’s where he is wrong.

I’m sure when he answered the phone that morning he wasn’t expecting to be discussing periods or his personal life but that’s sure as shit what happened.

I’m not a parent myself but I absolutely understand why parents might find these conversations hard to have. In my opinion, it’s because we - as adults (regardless of our gender) - have not been taught anywhere near enough about bodies, periods or the menstrual cycle.

Men often have the attitude that it isn’t their problem but what about when you do have a daughter? Or a partner who menstruates? Or a sister? Or a mother? Or a female friend?

Our periods and our menstrual cycle can literally affect our entire lives so it makes no sense to me that we wouldn’t want to know more about them.

But it isn’t the fault of the men.

There are plenty of people who do menstruate who don’t know about their own periods or menstrual cycle either. Even as recently as last week, I spoke to someone in their late 30s who still thought that their period was a bubble inside of them that burst and came out when they bled.

So is it any wonder then that conversations with children about periods are ones that parents don’t look forward to?

I’m still even teaching my own mother things about her body (in her 60s) that she didn’t ever know for herself.

I don’t blame her.
The lack of education is appalling.

This is why, when I thought about my business, I decided that the children aren’t even the starting point. My professional background is working with children and young people - it’s how I’ve spent most of my career. I’m a qualified sex educator so I could absolutely go into schools, if I wanted to, to teach the children myself.

I just think it is parents who still need to be educated. People, generally. Adults.

All of us who grew up in a generation where the stigma and shame around periods stopped us learning about our own bodies and the bodies of the people we love.

There’s very little, right now, that is mandatory to be taught in schools in the realm of sex education. Parents can still withdraw their children from sex education class.

So where are we getting our information?

Online? From friends? I’m sure we all remember some of the stories we got told when we were younger like believing you could get pregnant from a toilet seat.
(You can’t, by the way - just in case…)

I wish I’d had a parent who felt comfortable speaking to me about my period. A parent who knew enough themselves to be able to teach me what I needed to know. A parent who was confident in the conversation they were having - regardless of which parent they were.

I don’t blame my parents.
I blame the lack of education - something I desperately hope to improve in the work that I am doing.

The first step is speaking and I just will NOT shut up about this stuff.

This is a conversation for everyone.
Sometimes, when you least expect it.